When you hear the term “hot mess mom,” I’m sure a certain image comes to mind. You probably picture that mom who looks like she just rolled out of bed and walks into the school building disorganized and disheveled. You see her in the grocery store, dragging along her loud, unruly kids as she desperately tries to remember why she’s even at the store to begin with.
If you’re that picture-perfect, got-it-together mom, you probably either laugh or roll your eyes when you cross paths with a hot mess mom out in the wild. Or, maybe you see her and think, “Thank God! I’m not the only one!”
While some moms may try to “keep up appearances,” I’m fully willing to admit that I gave up that dog and pony show long, long ago.
The truth is I’m a hot mess mom and I’m totally OK with that.
I’m the mom that you saw napping in the afternoon pickup line because I run on next to no sleep and consume entirely too much caffeine. I almost never wear makeup and live in legging and blue jeans. My kids will tell you that I only cook something if it comes out of a box or the deep freezer (and to be honest, they’re actually right).
I know what you’re thinking: Didn’t anyone teach me anything?
It’s not that I’m incapable, though. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I just learned a long time ago that some things really don’t matter and I stopped giving them any of my time.
Why would I cover myself in makeup when my children don’t even care what I look like? I’d rather spend my days playing in the yard with my kids and my nights catching up on the housework while I binge-watch Grey’s Anatomy. I wasted my high school years caring too much about my appearance and I can sleep when I’m old — but I can never rewind the tapes on my time with my children when they are young.
I’m the mom with things spilling out of her mini van who often rolls up with unkempt hair. I may not make homemade Valentines for my kids to hand out and I’ll almost never remember to RSVP for birthday parties (let alone show up). My kids’ lunch account rolls into the negative far more than I’d like to admit, and we often eat breakfast in the car.
I know what you’re thinking: Do I even care at all?
It’s not that I don’t give a sh*t, though. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
I just don’t prioritize the same things as those perfectionistic, fancy-pants moms.
Instead of making Pinterest-worthy goody bags, I put lots of care and attention into things that legitimately matter, like reading stories with my children and letting them tell me about their day. I refuse to let my children think for even just a minute that I care more about keeping up appearances than I actually love them. I may not keep all our appointments straight, but there’s always time to stop and give them hugs and kisses.
I’m sure that someone will read this and say that I am unfit to be a mother or that I’ve clearly gone insane. After all, what mom goes days without showering or forgets the last time she washed her clothes? Me!
I fully admit it! I’m 100% that mom!
Sometimes I don’t know what time it is and I often forget important dates. But you better believe that if it really matters to my kids that I’m all in and making sure it goes their way.
Yes, I’m a hot mess mom, and honestly? I’m OK with that.
I don’t need to look my best or cook like Julia Child. All I need is a mocha from Starbucks and an hour at the park to feel like a million bucks. I want to teach my children that it’s not all about appearances or having the best that money can buy. What really matters is love and happiness, and I can drum up plenty of that while shopping in a messy bun or paying my water bill a day too late.
Also Published on Moms.com