A Letter To My Daughters About Abuse

Dear Sweet Daughters,

I love you so very much. In fact, I try to show that love to you every single day, with every breath I take. I know that sometimes it may not seem like love when I tell you that you can’t have another piece of candy or I make you go to bed at 7:30pm, but even those things I do with love in mind. I want you to know that I’m always here for you, my daughters, no matter what happens or what you may think or how much you think you’ve messed up… I’m always here with open arms, listening ears, and a loving heart.

But there’s something I need you to know, sweet girls. People in this world do not always do things out of love. There are men in this world who are not as amazing as your father. There are people who make poor choices, who hurt others, who may try to hurt you. This, my dears, is not okay. Your body is yours and you never have to share it with someone if you don’t want to do so. Your heart is pure, and your soul is beautiful, strong, and amazing… don’t ever let someone tell you otherwise.

My daughters, you are each a unique, individual, complete and perfect person.

How does Mommy know that there are people in the world who are not like Daddy? Well, there was a man before Daddy… long before Daddy and Mommy ever met. This man told Mommy that he loved her, and he did grand gestures to “show” this love. 

Suddenly, though, he changed. This man would yell at Mommy. He forced himself onto Mommy’s body. This man would tell Mommy that she was worthless, that nobody cared about Mommy except him. He wrote Mommy notes during the school day that went into details about things he wanted to do to Mommy, things Mommy didn’t even know about and didn’t ever want to try. This man was very convincing, he worked hard to fool everyone. He told people that Mommy was a liar, that she was a bad person, even the adults Mommy tried to ask for help. This man beat up other men who tried to befriend and help Mommy. 

And if Mommy tried to say no, tried to get away, tried to ignore this man… this man would inflict self-harm and tell Mommy it was her fault. This man often made threats to hurt Mommy, to take her life, or to take his own. For over two years, Mommy was trapped with this man, desperate to find a way out.

Today Mommy is still afraid of people because of this man, Mommy fears most men. Mommy worries every time she makes new friends that they will leave her because this man made most of Mommy’s friends leave her. Mommy gets very sad when she thinks about the fact that people like this man live in our world, that someday a man like this could be a part of your life, too.

But, my daughters, people like your Daddy also live in this world. Your Daddy is good, kind, strong, and loving. Daddy will always keep all of us safe. Your Daddy & I love you. 

Never be afraid to tell us anything, my daughters. You can tell us if you break a plate. Or you can tell us if someone says something mean to you and it hurts your feelings. You can tell us when you are scared. And you can tell us when you fail a math test. You can tell us when you kiss a boy or girl because we love you and whoever you love. And you can tell us that you want to play trumpet or if you want to try out for the basketball team. You can tell us when you make a 100 on your science test.

Please, girls, tell us everything in your heart: we will always love you. And if a man tries to hurt your beautiful heart, tell us that too. We are here to love, we are here to protect, we are here for you. Always and forever, my loves, my babies you will always be.

All my love,

Mommy

Also Published on YourTango

Author: musicmaker182

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