To My Favorite Person,
You had no way of knowing what was in store when we first became friends. You may have had some preconceived notions of what borderline personality disorder is “supposed to look like,” but it’s rarely what people think. Yet, despite the clinical jargon and the false misnomers everyone takes as fact, you made the choice to take my hand and stay.
You have walked through the peaks and valleys with me; you’ve swam through stormy seas to keep me from drowning. You’ve talked me out of the darkness more times than anyone ever should have to endure. Yet, somehow, you’ve done it all without resentment, without anger or even hints of fear. Thank you for being strong and always by my side.
Nobody realizes all that a favorite person does, but those of us with BPD know exactly what we put you through. I don’t mean to be a burden, but you know that, don’t you?
You love me unconditionally, no matter what I do.
When I try to run, you take my hand and refuse to let me go. If I’m feeling sad and alone, you offer a warm embrace to hold me while I cry. You laugh at all my silly jokes and match my enthusiasm every time. Thank you for always showing me compassion and the deepest care.
People don’t always take the time to see us for all we really are, they just label us a manipulative monster. But, as my favorite person, you see it all, the entire puzzle instead of just the pieces scattered on the floor.
You promise me you’ll never leave like a record on repeat, never wavering or growing tired. I ask you at least once a day if our friendship is OK… you always say it is. You remind me that I mean as much to you as you mean to me, and that I can never be replaced. You’ve learned so much about my illness, medications, and my treatment, dialectical behavior therapy. I love that you support my pie in the sky dreams of being a modern Marsha Linehan (and that you even know why I’m a fan girl).
People think that our disorder is the “kiss of death,” and that we’re not worth the time. Yet you never fail to see the benefits of my disorder, and you congratulate me every step I take on the path to recovery. You even say you like how I “cling.”
I’ll never say it enough times, my favorite person, so I hope you never grow tired of these words: thank you. I love you so much, no matter what I ever do or say. You give me hope, you bring me light, you shelter me from the storm inside myself. Thank you, my FP, my best friend, the one person who sees me fully.
With Much Love,
Your Friend With BPD
Also Published on The Mighty